Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.

<prior or next>

The less than Six degrees separating Almost There and pornography

or, surgery and everything else (not that there is anything else)

There were lot of �no reciprocation� tags on these lists. Especially in the lists for the "straight" escorts: "Mario is a muscular, light skinned, straight man who stands 5'9" tall. Sorry guys, Mario is only into women, but arrangements can be made for private strip shows were you can Watch him do his stuff."

It was all rather amusing. Even more funny was that the photographs for the "straight" men all had their faces blurred. Too macho to have their identities shown on a web site of questionable orientation I guess.

Getting a little bored of blurred photographs, I hit a random link and ended up at a porno site devoted to large breasted women. Very, very, very, large breasted women. Which is why I immediately went back to checking stats for my site and found a google search for "Hot Gay Mexican Studs."

Interestingly, the person doing the search was in England (assuming I understood the info correctly) . Do many British men have hot gay Mexican stud fetishes? To bad I�m not not in England (or a stud).

Anyway, the google search page lead me to a site devoted to Colt merchandise. Which reminded me that supposedly, one of the Colt men 2002 calendars features a nekkid photograph of a guy John and I know. I should find a copy and check it out.

One random link later and I was at a pay for porn site featuring very young looking, blond, blue eyed guys. No offense to any of you out there who may be "barely legal, hot and hung," but I wasn't interested and went back to checking stats, where I found a search for �Muscle Bears."

I'm not a muscle bear, so I'm sure my site was a disappointment to the person looking. However, several of the other sites listed were kind of cool. Specifically, the bear home pages. After spending some time looking at jpegs of a rather interesting looking mustachioed Arizona man, I went to his links page and found myself at a �which celebrity is gay� type site. There, I found out that David Hyde Pierce has been seen walking his dog while in the presence of another man in public. Quite shocking. One random link later and I was at another porn site promising me live video feeds of hot hung men if I would join up. I didn�t.

So back to my stats I went. The next hit was from someone looking for sites devoted to �Shirtless men + attitude." I get the shirtless men part, but attitude? Whatever.

Listed along with my poor little site where hundreds of other sites featuring some combination of those words, including a journal where the writer talked a lot about his sex life. He seemed to be popular. Extremely popular. Leaving his site, I found myself at an amateur/real men porn site. A rather interesting idea.

I stopped looking at other sites when I came across a search for �FuturamaPorn.� There are some things I want to stay ignorant about.

I have no idea what to make of any of this, other than you are never that far from pornography and using the words "Hot muscle bears and cholo studs" as the title of your jury duty entry will get your site a lot of hits. It won�t get you any new readers, but it will bump up your daily average by quite a bit.



more later,

nico



Music:
A very, very, very old party tape. Prince, the KLF, B-52�s, and Pet Shop Boys among others. There�s a reason I always score low on those straight acting tests.

Want:
To sleep through the night. Despite the tiredness, I keep waking up feeling anxious and worried that something is wrong.

<prior or next>

� 2000-2007