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The Insufficient Homosexual

Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.


Lunes 06/09/2003

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Talk to me in whale baby!




Real life? What's that?


A lack of Memento style murders: I'm sure it's no surprise that I saw and enjoyed Finding Nemo. The art is beautiful and the story interesting, although I�m still waiting for a Disney/Disney associatd flick with no dead parents. It seems that figuring a way to have a story with no orphans, widows, or the obligatory killing off of Bambi's mom is extremely difficult.

I have not payed much attention to the publicity for the movie, so I was surprised when it turned out that Nemo is essentially a disabled child. That aspect of the character made it seem more real life. Well, relatively speaking that is, after all this is a story with talking fish, but still.

The only problem I had with the flick was my occasional tendency to pull out of the story. I was occasionally distracted by how good/realistic the animation was (Sydney harbor was scarry), and I was occasionally distracted by Ellen Degeneres as well. She is one of those actors that no matter what role she is playing, I spend the entire time thinking "Hey, That's Ellen Degeneres." She could be acting her ass off playing Ophelia, and I'd still have a hard time suspending my disbelief. No fault of her own, but rather a failure on my part. A failure which apparently applies to her voice as well, because every so often, the little fish with Memento syndrome would say something wacky, and I'd be thinking "Hey, that's Ellen Degeneres."


The gayest of the gay: A friend told me that viewing Down with Love was a cure for heterosexuality. I'm not too sure about that. The audience I saw it with were all straight couples in their 30's and 40's and they still seemed to be bit by the hetero bug by the time the flick ended.

It was a fun movie, not the best thing in the world, but still amusing. I'm a fan of the old Doris Day/Rock Hudson flicks, so I had fun with the thing. Sadly, I want to live in the swinging bachelor pad.

The man in the row behind me thought the movie was the funniest thing ever made. He spent the entire time laughing hysterically, very, very loudly. Then again, during the trailer for the Farley Brothers conjoined fraternal twin comedy, he sounded like he was laughing so hard, I though he was going to injure himself, so his judgment may be a tad impaired.


Not quite the gayest of the gay: TokyoPop is now publishing an English version of the Fake Manga, so I expect to waste time over the next several months with a gay New York cop love triangle. Despite the porno sounding premise, this is a girls manga, so from what I gather there is little more than anguished passion filled kisses. No squishy, nippleless, sex scenes, which is more than fine for me. I'm in the mood for some sappy, Japanese, teen girl version of gay romance.


Even less gay: It wasn�t until I opened the paper when I got home from work that I realized that the Tonys were last night. I�m a bad fag.

Or am I? John and I saw Lily Tomland that night so do I get some points for that?


The lack of Tardy Blitz's: If you arrive 10 minutes late to a movie, should you still try and see it, or should you give up and try for a later showing? What about 15 minutes? Is 20 minutes too late? At what point do you give up?

When John and I saw A Mighty Wind a few weeks ago, lots of people arrived late for the 3:00 matinee. Now given that with all the commercials and trailers, the movie didn't actually start until 3:15, the first set of late arrivals didn't miss much. The folks who walked into the theater at 3:40 however did. What I can't figure out is why they even bothered to try to catch a movie they were forty minutes late for (or 25 minutes if you want to be technical). Am I just out of touch with reality, or was there something strange going on?


Confusion: One result of seeing several movies over a few weeks is that all the trailers I have seen for up coming movies are all jumbled together in my head. Was thaat big thing on screen the CGI HUlk or the CGI Mr. Hyde? Is Arnold Schwarzenegger the voice of an animated bear in an upcoming Disney Flick, or is he the voice of the CGI Arnold Schwarzenegger in the newest Terminator movie? Is it really a Terminator movie if Linda Hamilton is nowhere to be found? Did I really see something for a Merchant Ivory film set in modern day Paris? Isn't it illegal or something for Merchant Ivory to have a nonperiod piece movie?


More later,

nico


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