Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.

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I seem to be forever a couple or more weeks behind the fact with the �this is what is going in my life� type entries. That may always be a trouble for me. When things actually occur, I get too busy to write about �em and when there�s calm, well, when is there ever calm. Anyhow, here are a few things from the past couple of weeks. The stuff I left out (more plays and crap like that) will be up later this week.

The cosas:

National Overeating Day: Thanksgiving was spent with John�s family with a meal of the traditional turkey and such, with some veggie pseudo-drumsticks for the vegetarians present. It was the first major holiday since John�s father died, and that made things a bit odd. There were a couple of times I forgot and started to wonder where he had gotten off to, and then I would remember.

One of John�s cousins finally, officially came out of the closet the week before. Not that it was a big surprise, as everyone except his mother already knew. She claims she had no clue, which is possible I guess. Although if true, it�s an example of how we are all capable of ignoring things we don�t want to deal with. I mean, what are you to make of a single, youthful appearing, perhaps overly concerned with fashion, 39 year old man who hasn�t dated a woman in the past 18 years, and who has gone through a string of rather questionably masculine male �roommates.�

The reason for the acknowledgement of his life was that he and his new boyfriend have become very serious and it was time to introduce everyone to the new man, and his two kids. The boyfriend was nice, and the kids very outgoing and great.

I think seeing them and the kids helped push along the slight funk I was in. One of the hardest issues for me to deal with when I was coming out to myself was the prospect of never being a father. It wasn�t really acknowledged in the early eighties that you could be gay and have kids. Things are different now, but while I would still love to be a parent, it�s not going to happen. Well, at least not without some major changes in John�s and my relationship, and that�s unlikely to happen. Anyway, I still get to be a doting uncle, which is good enough.

A Play: I saw A Perfect Wedding at the Kirk Douglas Theater in Culver City with some friends a couple of weekends ago. The story involved a would be groom wandering off into the woods after meeting his fianc�es family, their chasing after him, love, death, and a wedding, or two, or three, though not quite as intended or expected. There was a feeling that a lot of effort was put into the work to make it unusual and interesting, though ultimately I don�t think that it was as interesting as intended.

The unusual part, they got easy. There was an odd mix of Bollywood extravaganza, mud flinging physical comedy, Shakespearian comedy plots (people running around a wood falling in love every which way, profound gravediggers, and woodland fairies (or at least a queer radical fairie wedding planner version)), song, comedy (best bit being a priest listing off sexual positions), and overly serious melodrama.

I wanted to like it more than I did, but ultimately the parts I did enjoy weren�t quite enough to make for everything else, although the scene involving Wilson Cruz as a way gay wedding/funeral planner talking to a priest about celibacy that ends with the priest going on and on at length about how he spends time contemplating various possible sexual positions a man and a woman can get themselves into was hilarious.

Not that an older woman in the row behind me thought so. From noises she made during that scene she was more than a bit offended. I�m guessing she didn�t like the idea that as human beings, even priests are sexual creatures, though presumably not exactly overly active ones�and yes, I�m avoiding the obligatory pedophile joke.


Movie: John and I went to see The Incredibles with Alex and his long distance beau Chris. Ignoring my input, they all decided to see it at the El Capitan. It did make sense of sorts, since it is just a short walk from Alex�s condo, but there was the question of sitting through a �spectacular stage show.�

Before the movie, we had dinner at Lucky Strike; a �hip� Hollywood Bar/restaurant/bowling alley that is a place to be seen, or maybe it was a place to be seen. I rarely keep track of such things, and my general attitude is if I�m somewhere, it can�t be that cool. Besides, I think I saw it while flipping past an episode of that male model show, and if there isn�t already, there should be a rule that if a bar/whatever shows up on a �reality� game show, its days as a happening place are numbered.

Trendy or not, we got in despite our wearing jeans and sneakers and such. Dress codes don�t matter so much relatively early on Sunday nights I guess. The food was vaguely up scale Americana and was acceptable if not overly exciting.

It is definitely a straight place. Male wait staff got to wear real clothes, while the poor women were stuck with tiny low-slung miniskirts and midriff revealing t-shirts. The woman serving us was cute in an overly objectified way, but she also spent the entire time shivering since the air temp was set pretty low and she had a lot of flesh showing.

After food was the movie �experience.� There was a stage show stuck in between the trailers (all Disney projects naturally) and the actual movie. The show was a reminder that there is nothing quite so gay as a Disney performance. There were dancers and singers, some lucky enough to be able to perform in (relatively) regular clothes, while others were trapped inside body and soul crushing character costumes; all performing classic Broadway show tunes to an overly patriotic beat. With numbers such as Mini Mouse surrounded by women doing a Zigfield follies version of Singing in the Rain�well, any little boys in the audience who were actually paying attention to the thing would have turned instantly queer on the spot.

Luckily the Pixar short they showed before the main feature would have helped to prepare parents to deal their newly gayified kids. Actually the short was cute, and had most of the audience applauding a nelly sheep. My only other comment about it is that I found the last line of something to the effect of that it would be a sad thing if there were no jackalopes in the world to be a bit depressing because well, reality.

As for the The Incredibles, everything that everybody has already written about it is true. Well maybe not the Ann Rand comparisons, which are perhaps over thinking things a bit, or maybe not. I�ve never read her and doubt that I�ll ever get around to rectifying that.

I really enjoyed the movie, not just �cause of the superhero stuff, but the secret service/spy homage as well. Maybe even more so, �cause I�m that sub-subcategory of nerdy queer who really digs Sean Connery era Bond flicks. Give me a villain launching rockets out of volcano craters on his secret tropical island HQ, and I�ll be a happy pup.

More later,
nico

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