Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.

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The one I didn't feel like coming up with a jokey title for

I�ve been in a bleagh mood for the past several weeks, hence a lack of entries about the goings on in my life.� So there�s a backlog of stuff I should really write about, though in truth I don�t really feel like it.� So, in a rather abbreviated form, here�s what I have not been documenting in a semi-random order:

Comedy. � Roseanne Barr performed in Long Beach a few weeks ago, so after an almost last minute invite from some friends of ours, there was dinner at a CPK, comedy of the angry woman sort, laughter of the cathartic sort, and an audience filled with women, a few gay men, and a couple of straight couples.

The theater realizing what her audience makeup would be converted the men�s room into a unisex restroom, which made for an interesting time.� As is usual for me, I went there before the show, and found two other men standing at the entrance looking perplexed at long line of women standing there.� Several of the women started laughing, and said that all the urinals were free, and we could go right on in to use them, they wouldn�t look.� Which made them laugh even more.�

So we went on in and did our business, with the white man of us cracking jokes with the women, agreeing with them that yup, he probably had seen more d*ck then all of them combined.

The Goat, or who is Silvia. � Edward Alby, bestiality, a shocking story meant to shock the audience into actually thinking, dark comedy, and an ending that was probably as necessary as is was brutal.

So, man at the pinnacle of his career, with a loving perfect family confesses to his best friend that he is love with Silvia.� Silvia happens to be goat, best friend writes a letter to wife; and hell breaks loose, the sh*t hits the fan, lives are destroyed, and hilarity ensues, all at the same time. Managing your audience so that their laughing while squirming is a sign of talent. It was a powerful play, and well acted, but dang was it difficult.�

Birthday party. � There was a birthday party for one of the nephews, so food, family, and miniature golf, and my unintentually making one of the kids cry.� Ty left his gameboy lying on the ground in the middle of the den, and after nearly breaking the thing by almost stepping on it I decided to hang onto it for a while.� An hour later when he finally noticed it was gone, he went from calm friendly six year old boy to wailing devastated victim in the time it took me to say �no,� when he asked me for it back.

He�d stopped sobbing several long minutes later after I repeated a few times that even if he knew exactly where he left it, leaving an expensive game lying on the floor in the middle of a room was not taking care of it and was not acceptable; yes I was going to give it back to him, at the end of the party; and that no, I was not going to erase his saved game.

Golda�s Balcony. � I enjoyed the performance, but not as much as I hated the audience.� Annoying people included a snorer, some loud over-reactors (not a good thing in a play with guns shooting and bombs falling), excessive talkers, and a man who before the play began talked at length (loudly so that everyone could overhear him) about his son the famous actor, and all his son�s friends, the even more famous actors.� When he started talking about how the only acting work here was in TV or movies, I decided that considering we were all in a theater, besides being a braggart, he was an idiot as well.� A couple of minutes later his spiel turned into a smug patter on the large number of theaters in Los Angeles, and how despite it�s movie and TV reputation few people realize this was actually a theater town, seemingly not realizing that he had just contradicted himself.� The idiot.

Sadly writing this has given me a strange sense of deja vu, and I am now convinced that this has happened many times before and I am just blocking the terrible memories.

As You Like It. More theater, but this time of the seemingly unedited Shakespearian sort with a couple of instances of love at first sight, some banishment's, a couple of death threats, short musical interludes, fools speaking wisely, lovers loving foolishly, a switched gender disguise, some comedic bits, and a multitude of weddings which all served to bore the husband. I thought the acting was good, the set interesting, but despite a willingness to like it, it well, wasn�t that thrilling. Mainly because three hours was just way too long.

I wasn�t overly familiar with the play before the show, only remembering that it�s considered one Shakespeare weaker works, and now afterwards, well, I now at least know where the �all the worlds a stage� and �the acts of man are 7� bits come from.�� �

The fake-playbill thingie mentioned that the character Rosalind has the most lines of any of Shakespeare�s woman.� Then again, she also spends the majority of the play in disguise as a young man named Ganymede so I don�t know what that says. �Yes, named after that Ganymede, though unlike �his� mythological namesake, instead of being carried away by Zeus, a shepherd girl fall in love with him and he spends time jerking around, er teasing, er testing his, er her, true love Orlando.

Anyway, more later,

nico�

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