Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.

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While Gwendolyn Mitchell will tell anyone who asks that she loves her son Frank just as much as the rest of her children, she will, if pressed, admit to feeling that he is far too pushy about being gay. Her reasons vary, but she has been known to �confidentially� mention the following:

-After his cousin Bob got divorced, Frank started telling unfunny jokes about how since he was now the only one of his generation in the family not divorced, it proved that straight people should not get married.

-He never seriously tried dating girls to see if he could change.

-Frank embarrassed her terribly when he walked out of his cousin Greg�s wedding. He apologized, but insisted on adding that since this was Greg�s third wedding, Amy�s second, and that their 4 year old son Kristopher was their ring bearer, using the ceremony to speak out on the need to preserve the sanctity of marriage was somehow hypocritical of the minister. Frank refused to see that it was exactly the best time to do so.

-Even after she told him not to tell Grandma Grace that he was �that way,� he told her anyway, surely upsetting the poor woman�s last few years on this earth.

-Frank insists on calling his �friend� his �husband.�

-He�s obviously been a bad influence on his nephews and nieces. Two years ago on her 19th birthday, his niece Amanda told her mother Gail that she was a bisexual and was seeing another girl. Luckily that only lasted a couple of months and Amanda has been dating Geoffery ever since, although she still insists on saying that she really is a bisexual, which makes no sense, how can she be bisexual and have a boyfriend?

-Every year Frank and his �friend� send everyone in the family a photo Christmas card of them and their two terriers Sam and Darren all wearing Santa caps. It�s as if he doesn�t realize that it�s just going to get lost or hidden so that people won�t see it.

-At family events Frank and his �friend� hug and hold hands. Even in public places!

-When his sister Joy asked him for help with paying for his nephew�s college education, he said he couldn�t afford to because he and his �friend� had just used most of their savings to buy that big new house (far too large for just the two of them). Instead, he offered Benjamin free room and board since he is only a couple of miles away from school, as if that was somehow equal compensation, or would have been accepted in the first place. Imagine allowing an impressionable young man to live in a house like that.

-He and his �friend� plan to get �married� in Massachusetts next summer, and Frank has invited the family to attend, saying that it is only fair since he�s had to go to everyone else�s weddings. Which isn�t even true, after all, no one went to Las Vegas three years ago when cousin Alice married Mike again.

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� 2000-2007