Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.

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I'm back, sort of.

John and I made it back home from Japan on Monday (07/09/01) and we have been tired, addle minded, jet lagged, slugs ever since. Actually, I think I'm over the jet lag and have gone straight into my normal routine of annoying insomnia. Lack of sleep may be why I have been cranky Nico the past couple of days.

Nothing and everything has been annoying the heck out me and I think that John would prefer that I got over this mood as fast as possible. Of course, being the ornery cur that I am, I am actually enjoying my bad mood. Even if it is irrational and unfounded, feeling like everything is against me has been sort of reassuring in an admittedly perverse sort of way.

Anyhow, the Japan vacation was fun and enjoyable (except for a couple of minor details). The prospect of getting the entire trip "up here" is a bit over whelming at the moment. I will do it , just not right now. So instead of an obsessive over detailed account of each and every day of my vacation, how about ten quick observations instead?

Namely:

1. EVERYONE SMOKES IN TOKYO! CONSTANTLY! ALL THE FREAKING TIME!

OK, that's a gross overstatement, but hey, I am a spoiled, nonsmoking, Californian after all. Even when you could smoke in the bars and clubs here, they weren't as smokey as some of the restaurants John and I ate in.

2. There really are vending machines everywhere. You could not walk ten yards without running into one. I didn't see any of the fabled porno vending machines, but I don't think that we were ever in a raunchy enough of a neighborhood for one.

Although we did make a wrong turn doing a walking tour of Asakusa and found ourselves in the middle of a red light district. No illicit vending machines though, just some beer, along with the ever-present soda and cigarette machines.

3. Potential marketing disaster or not, someone really should market Pocari sweat, Calpis Water, or any of the dozens of other Japanese sport drinks and sodas in the states. Despite the funky names most of them turned out to be nothing more than watered down Gatorade type drinks and were rather good. Well, except for Happy tea, that one just tasted gross and nasty.

Odds are that I will put up a list of all the drinks that I had (that I can remember that is) one day when I feel like posting an entry, but I can't actually think of anything worth writing about.

4. Tokyo is an extremely clean city, which made the odd bit of trash or graffiti seem ten times worse than it really was.

5. EVERYONE IS ON A CELLPHONE. CONSTANTLY!

Not as much of an overstatement as you would think. I though that "we" SouCal folks were on cell phones allot, but it's nothing compared to people over there.

American cell phones also suck compared to Japanese ones. The cell phones there are tiny, weigh next to nothing and are apparently capable of doing everything from checking e-mail to playing video games.

There is also a strange (at least from my point of view) obsession with cell phone accoutrements. I saw antennas with little disney figures on the ends that glowed whenever you received a call, cell phone stickers, cell phone leashes with cute little anime and disney figures hanging off of them and even antenna "rings" that where designed to fit over the antennas so that they would look cute.

6. The food in Tokyo is very good. I'll save the details for later, but my friend Akiko was totally right when she told me that the restaurants there were amazing. I have gained a bunch of weight.

7. Japanese elevators just don't work right for some odd reason, which is strange considering that everything else even slightly mechanical or electronic worked really well. I got crunched between elevator doors several times while we were there.

8. Japanese restrooms, at least the ones in Tokyo and Kyoto, are either overly complicated and high tech or somewhat dirty and scary. There are no other options. Another overstatement of course. When tour books say to pack some tissue 'cause the bathrooms don't have any, believe it.

9. The are no stars in the night sky above Tokyo. Actually, I did see one, but that was unusual considering all the ambient light/light pollution. It was cloudy/rainy in Kyoto, so I didn't see any stars there either.

10. The combination of heat and humidity was just as bad as everyone warned me, if not worse. It's no wonder everyone walks around with little sweat rags mopping themselves off for some sort of relief.

OK, that's enough of that. With some luck and a whole heck of a lot of motivation, I will be posting the details of my vacation soon. With even more luck and and an ungodly amount of motivation I might even get back in the habit of posting on a regular basis again.

More later,

nico

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