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Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.
Tue 06/18/2002
Straight women and not so straight men
It has been hot. Summer has arrived in Southern California with a vengeance, seemingly determined to bake us all into toast. The tomatoes and basil I have on the front porch have jumped in size with this heat, but most everything else is acting all wilty.
I�ve no idea if it�s related to the recent heat as well, but a full nights sleep has been eluding me recently. Normally that would leave me a bit grumpy, but this time �round, I�m not so much grumpy as, well, something else entirely.
Anyway, in other news, this past Saturday (06/15/02) was John�s and my twelfth anniversary. We forgot.
At least we did until his parents called us that afternoon to congratulate us. Is it a good or bad thing that we�ve both been so freaking busy with work lately that neither of us remembered our anniversary?
No gifts this year. Instead, money is probably going to be blown on some repairs around the house, including painting (shudder).
Instead of continuing with that scary topic, here are some tidbits from the past week:
What I learned at the last Pasadena area potluck:
-I need to go on vacation.
-A documentary is being made about the local chapter of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.
-I should consider vacating in Vancouver because it�s really pretty up there.
-M.A.C. cosmetics are the absolute best.
-I should consider vacationing in New York because it�s an exciting city.
-Under no circumstances are John and I allowed to even consider the possibility of painting the exterior of our house by ourselves as this would be the quickest road to pain, suffering, and divorce.
-I should consider vacationing in San Francisco, Hawaii, Washington, Palm Springs, Cancun, or even Alaska.
-I must take a vacation.
Apparently I�m under orders to take a break from work. Unfortunately, while I do have plenty of time on the books, I do not actually have any time to use any of it. As usual, everything at work is in a crises. Fun, fun, fun...yes, sarcasm.
Straight women:
John and I saw Oscar and Felix, a new look at the odd couple Friday (06/14/02). Neil Simon updated the play, but since I�m unfamiliar with the original version of the play, other than the use of cell phones, I�m not sure what exactly was changed about the plot. Heck, not only do I not know the original storyline, I can barely remember the tv show version as well.
This didn�t stop me enjoying the play. It was very witty. Very humorous. Very odd that Felix exhibits several dozen gay stereotypes, yet is not a big old Mary.
This production had a somewhat higher than normal number of former and current tv folks in it. The two biggies (ahem) being John Larroquette as Oscar and Joe Regalbuto as Felix.
Susan and Russ were also there that night. Over ice cream at Bobaworld, I learned that straight women, or least Susan, can have odd taste in men. She thought that Mr. larroquette dressed as a slob was kind of cute, totally oblivious to the charms of the actor I (and Russ as well) thought was the best looking guy on that stage. There�s no accounting for tastes I guess. Mine or anyone else's.
�Even White trash feel sorry for me.�
As I mentioned at the beginning of the entry, John and I forgot our anniversary. Instead of a fabulously romantic meal and a night out on the town, we went into Pasadena to run some errands and catch a flick.
People have been telling John that he had to see Sordid Lives because it�s so dang funny and while it wasn�t the best made thing in the world, it certainly was funny. Delta Burk sobs out the white trash line as she berates her two timing husband for not merely cheating on her with her best friend�s mother, but for also accidentally killing his mistress by forgetfully leaving his two wooden legs on the floor of the sleazy motel they had shacked up at for the night. She tripped and hit her head.
Uh, the movie takes place place in Texas...
Aside from the nonSteel Magnolias look at proud Southern Women, there�s also the brother who thinks he�s Tammy Winnette, Olivia Newton John as a honky tonk signer, and a largely boring closeted gay son storyline that could have stood some heavy editing, but even so, over all it was still amusing.
Father�s day:
Camarones, rice, a salad (mangos, avocados, and Persian cucumbers), and luckily, a lack of arguments at parents house.
That afternoon found me at DVD Planet with my sister buying her a birthday gift. Strangely, we ran into TomP and his younger brother there. TomP and I went to high school, then college together and have remained friends years later. We both had younger siblings who have done the same. Although the dynamic of my sister's friendship with TomP�s brother is obviously a bit different, with the entire different gender and both het thing happening for them.
We stood around the store for a bit catching up and having film geek conversations. Nothing unusual.
Not so straight men:
A few weeks ago, I told the story of �hearing man�. Essentially, a little story�ette about a straight married man I met at work who possibly may have been interested in me. Except that he wasn�t, because he was married and straight.
I found out last week that he has a web site for his business and after looking at it, I�m wondering if maybe I imagined the wedding ring.
The site is quite professional, filled with many reasons why hearing man should be hired. One of the reasons is that he a really good guy who does a lot of volunteer work. Including volunteering for Aids Project L.A.
OK, granted, there�s nothing written that straight men can�t volunteer for an Aids services group, but would a straight man have links to gourmet food sites? The links were at the very bottom of the site, in the �here are some fun sites which prove I�ve not stick in the mud and would be fun to work with so hire me already� section of the site.
Would a straight man really link to a Gourmet cheese site?
So while I�m still not convinced I was driving him to distraction, I am now convinced that there is no way that this guy was straight.
Gourmet cheese? Dang is my gaydar not working right.
more later,
nico
Music:
Laurie Anderson Big Science on vinyl
Want:
a large pineapple jelly juice
Elsewhere: facts