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Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.
lunes 01/12/2004
Disturbing trends and coconut flake studded snack foods:
I've caught up with most of the blogs I follow and have come across a disturbing trend. Even worse, I'm part of that trend. It appears that I am not the only person dealing with the irritations of insomnia. I am not the only person running away in terror from a good nights sleep, or whatever overly melodramatic phrase would be appropriate for not having a full nights sleep in over a week.
I've hit the point where two hours of unconsciousness is considered a good thing. Sleep is not totally beyond me I guess, after all I can manage to nod off at around six thirty or so in the morning, but then again considering that I'm supposed to be at work by seven, it's not a very useful talent.
I could do the pill thing, but that would mean dealing with my overwhelming fear that I would become instantaneously addicted to sleeping pills if I ever took one. Normally I recognize my concern as unfounded and irrational, but I�ve been awake long enough that rational is not the best choice of word to describe my state of mind.
Someone once told me that my fear of sleeping pills has its root in my reasons for never having been drunk or high. Mainly that I'm a control freak desperately in need of inebriation. Of course, his argument in favor of my getting drunk in order to let loose was somewhat diminished in that he told to liquor my self up for fun and profit right after telling me how he nearly killed himself in college one Saturday night by flying down the Hollywood freeway at idiotically high speeds while um, "flying" on shrooms.
Which reminds that there was a fire on the hill across from ours a few days ago. I have no idea what the connection between hillside fires and the luck of the drunk is, but for some reason my mind is making one. My only excuse is that I'm tired and not thinking at all proper like. John and I were heading out one night to run some errands and pick up some dinner, when the husband noticed that there was glow from the other hill. An orange light moved slowly along the hill, and smoke flowed up into the sky, evidence that the other face of the hill was in flame. From the location of the light, it looks like the fire was probably confined to bare land and the surrounding homes hopefully escaped any damage.
Anyhow, a full nights sleep would be a good thing, too bad that my mind doesn't come with an off switch, or even a dimmer switch.
So...there are some things I�ve been meaning to write about and I�m still a few weeks behind with this thing, but I don�t seem to care anymore, or more accurately, I can�t remember half f what I should be writing about. I do remember these things though:
Good, bad, and ugly: Of the various presents I got for Christmas, one gift that was well appreciated was a small bag filled with coconut Pocky. While not my favorite flavor it was still cool, and amazingly I managed to show enough self-restraint that I still have a couple of boxes left.
That was a good gift. A bad gift came from John's family and it was all his fault. For some bizarre reason he told anyone who asked that WE wanted a "clapper" and because of his criminal behavior, we now have two of the dang things. My man has one hooked it up to a lamp in the dining room and now every time the cats fight, or I sneeze, the lights start flipping on and off.
It bugs major. I've warned John that if I come home from work one night and find that the nephews laughing hysterically and farting the lights on and off, I'm throwing the dammed thing out.
One movie: The only review of big fish I read hated it for it's lack of narration and for Tim Burton's inability to make a mature film that rises above his derigur juvenile special effects. I'm not certain I saw the same movie they did, since in my opinion it was a fairly "mature" film (for a Burton piece), and I also thought that fantastic elements were not as important as the entire father/son bonding/not-bonding thing. Then again, the review was from a weekly "independent" paper and thus was required by law to loathe all mass populist entertainment and I have been known to enjoy fanciful movies, which I�m sure explains all that. whatever all that was.
Put more simply, I enjoyed the movie.
Two movie: I haven't yet managed to get out to see the final lord of the rings movie, each time I consider it, my butt starts hurting at the prospect of three plus hours of moviedom. I did however see Calendar Girls with a friend. No phantom pains with this flick, merely worn stretch marks from elongating the plot to make the story of middle aged women doffing their cloths for charity worthy of film, instead of say, a short made for TV movie of the week kind of thing. Other than that, the movie was pleasant enough, not overly bad, and not too much stress on the brain.
Three movie: Roughly a year ago, I wrote an entry were I mentioned that the only urban legends I could find online which mentioned gays at all, had us playing the roles of perverse deviants preying on children and trapping straights for sex by using date rape drugs. I wrote, in a decidedly indirect and round about way, that I felt that we needed to take control and force the issue; creating stories where we were not victims.
If these stories serve to teach, why couldn't they be used to teach would be bashers and others not to mess with us. Granted that's not exactly the way urban legends work, but still, that was my rough idea.
One of the responses to that entry said that I should see Urbania. Thanks to some money spent at DVD planet a few weeks ago, I finally have. It's an interesting movie playing with the ideas urban legends and touching on the idea of creating the tale of the man who took revenge on his basher. There's extra features I've yet to watch, but even if that turns out to be boring, it was a good purchase. If I remember correctly, the movie didn't do that well, which is a shame.
OK, enough of this for now, cause I've other things I should be dealing with instead of this here journal, including getting myself pulled together enough for a trip. I'm off to Las Vegas for a couple of days later this week, and hope to experience that stuff called fun and relaxation. I maybe even visit that thing called sleep.
Be well, and be good.
More later,
nico