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The Insufficient Homosexual

Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.


Friday07/30/2004

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13 more thoughts & comments regarding the San Diego Comic Con




1. Comedy Central is going to air “the first animated reality show,” Drawn Together. It looks good; better yet it looks subversive. A commercial for it starts off with a 50’s era musical singing virginal princess assuming that a 70’s era, Black, hot pants wearing, mystery solving, girl band musician is a servant and ends with the two of them making out in a hot tub. There was also a description of one episode where a video game character comes out of the closet which sparks an existential crises for him, because what do you do if your entire existence is based on saving the girl at the end of the game and you don’t really want her? Could be a cool program.

2. One company with a display of toys and collectable statues had some Dukes of Hazard figures where Bo & Luke duke were amazing fey, looking just as, if not more feminine than Daisy, which I have to admit is an interesting take on the story.

3. There were several scuzzy looking skinny tattooed white men in wife beaters, jeans, and sporting bad assed ‘tudes walking around, who (despite better judgment) I found very interesting looking. Normally things like smoking and girlfriends hanging off guy’s arms are turn offs for me, but somehow I didn’t quite care. Luckily I didn’t loose total sanity in that I still found the superior attitudes annoying. I mean we were all at a comic book convention, what did they have to be smug about?

4. Hobbit feet still scare me. The only hobbit there that wasn’t subtly frightening was a not so short man who forewent fake feet in favor of walking around barefoot showing of his own somewhat hairy if normal sized feet. The only terrifying thing about him was the idea of him using one of the overstrained and none too clean men’s rooms.

5. While standing in a long line waiting for some free junk, I was stuck behind two men, roughly my age, who were part of the cult of The Iron Giant. “The writing was amazing,” “One of the best animated, no one of the best movies ever,” “Who ever handled the release for it at WB should have been shot for killing it,” were repeated often and with much intensity. I think I remember liking it, maybe? It has been a while.

6. An overheard conversation:
Male comic fan: “Have you read Secret Identities* number two yet, it’s awesome!”
Female comic fan: “What, it was terrible!”

*Secret identity being the comic I kind of dissed a couple of entries ago despite not having read it. From what I understand, in the second issue you discover that poor “just found out she was pregnant” Sue Diby was not only was murdered by being burned to death, but that she had been raped/sexually assaulted in the past as well (subtle is not a word commonly used to describe superhero comics). From things I’ve read online some fanboys are actually incredulous that others are mentioning misogyny.


7. I attended a Disney panel where they showed some scenes from the new pixar flick, The Incredibles. It looks really good. We were also shown the teaser trailer for the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy movie. The noise from a thousand plus people when the words Don’t Panic flashed on screen was deafening.

8. Diner the other night we were in San Diego was at Aladdin’s in Hillcrest. It was fairly quite that night, which was unfortunate, since it made it harder to ignore the self-congratulatory yuppies sitting behind us who would not shut up about how wonderful they were for having the wisdom to live such amazing lives being able to live months at a time in Italy and the transcendent joy of shopping at Trader Joes. Now, I like Trader Joes, it’s a great market and an integral part of living a certain Californian lifestyle, however, it’s also just a store and not the road to some materialistic inspired nirvana as these folks were making it out to be.

9. Amusingly enough, freshly shaved headed folks were handing out promotional postcards for a rerelease of THX1138.

10. I saw the trailer for A Series Unfortunate Events. I know several kids and adults looking forward to it who will be thrilled with it. Unfortunately for me, it has Jim Carrey playing Count Olaf. I loathe Jim Carrey.

11. Joe Philips was there and I thought about going up and saying hello or buying something, but I didn’t have the energy to deal with working my way through the small crowd of young white gay boi fans surrounding him. Besides the adoring fanboi’s had all brought their best girl-girlfriends with them, and I doubt Kristen would have been amused at the prospect of me finding her only to drag her to a booth she had no interest in merely so I could use her as a fashion accessory.

12. I was cruised just once during con (no surprise there) while standing in line trying to get in. It was from a stocky, young twenties, Latino guy and was actually less cruise, more shy nervous occasional glances in my direction. When I caught him staring, he quickly turned away and his face flushed red from embarrassment. He was a cute kid, who once the lines started moving I never saw again.

13. The gayest thing I bought was not a gay comic book (which I did buy a couple of), but rather an illustrated guide to men’s underwear. Nice purchase for a comic book convention, no?



-nico

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