Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.

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Reactions from other folks who are less then enthused to Bush�s reelection have ranged from anger, to dismay. From promises of activism, to proclamations of immigration.

Comments to these reactions have ranged from agreement, to annoyance. From Kerry supporters that is. I have come across a few cases of republican gloating. Luckily they have been few, or at least I have been lucky in coming across so few.

I understand people being angry and pledging to become more active. I came of age during the reagan years. As a nation we seemed to have fooled ourselves into the thinking the eighties were wonderful. We�ve forgotten that behind those breakfast club fantasies of eternally young rich kids were people getting laid off, union busting, social programs getting gutted left and right, mentally ill people getting thrown into the streets, education being ignored, social security getting raided, corporations somehow becoming more important then the people they employed, greed being praised as good, concern for the environment being considered bad, and a disease that had it affected the heterosexual community first, would probably now be as dead as polio and small pox.

I understand people�s dismay. Bush may �only� have four more years as some people trying to but a positive spin on the situation state, but his influence will last for decades. I am fearful of what will happen with the supreme court.

I understand peoples discouragement. Though my participation has varied from solely monetary to more active participation, I�ve been involved off and on in activism in different forms for 19 years now and quite frankly I�m tired of the constant struggle.

Though I know they will never be, I�d love things to be easy and handed to me. I don�t have a rich father and family to arrange �things� for me and to make troubling situations such as drug convictions go away.

Another common attempt at a positive spin to the reelection is hoping that the left will organize and get stronger when forced to deal with a far right agenda of decreasing government though lack of funds, and the elimination of civil rights, and other pesky things preventing total access to wealth for the limited few. Problem with this belief is that I�ve been hearing this statement for quite a long while now. So far the a �backlash� hasn�t quite happened yet. Hopefully things don�t get too bad before it finally does.

In time I will no doubt become hopeful once again. Hell, I�m a so called liberal, and all a liberal is is someone who is hopeful. Hopeful that things should improve, can improve, will improve.

That hope has fled me for the moment, but it will return in time. For now, work is hectic and stressful, life is busy, i�m coming down with a cold, and I can manage little more being tired.

Tired of my life being used as a wedge issue.

Tired of this tactic being successful.

Tired of hearing republicans talk about taking back the government, when they�ve had the presidency 16 out of the past 24 years.

Tired of hearing how bush is a simple Texas rancher, when he is everything but.

Tired of hearing stories about poor and middle class people supporting tax breaks for the rich because there�s a statistically insignificant chance that they might win the lottery and become rich themselves one day.

And tired, no appalled at the continued existence of poll watchers and other tactics to intimidate voters.

...hasta que me siento mejor,

nico

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