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Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.
04/10/2006
26 lies about 26 men.
K is for Ken
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10.�
Kenneth Thomas Miller died alone in a hospital bed four days after his 24th birthday.� At the time his lover Manny and his parents were in the hospital parking lot arguing over whether he would go back to his and Manny�s apartment, or back �home� to his parents house once he got better.
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The week before Ken read a letter to the editor arguing that while this new �gay plague� may or may not be a sign from God, it was at the very least the only logical outcome of the homosexual lifestyle.� What else but disease could result from rampant drug use and having thousands of sexual partners?� Ken tried to figure out his own sexual history, counting up his own list of thousands, and found himself lacking.� He confused two guys both named John, and had forgotten a man named Leo, so his count was slightly off, at eight instead of ten. He joked with Manny that he was severely behind on his quota and was sure to be reprimanded by the leaders of gay movement.
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It was Ken�s ex-boyfriend Rick who first introduced him to Manny four years earlier.� Warning Manny that he was tired of casual flings, Ken waited for their second date before they had sex.� Three months later Ken told Manny that he loved him (in each other arms in the shower after a rather messy experiment involving whipped cream and chocolate syrup), and they moved in together after they graduated from college a year later (celebrating that night by �breaking in� each room of their new apartment).�
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6-9.�
Manny ended what Ken later took to calling his slut phase.� He thought of himself as being loose and easy, though he was actually rather picky and said no to most of the men who tried to pick him up.� His slut phase consisted of Angel (a closeted young man active in the campus Chicano rights movement), Nicho (a short, muscular, drama student he met at a campus party), John (a clerk in the men�s department of a Montgomery Wards�s he met in a mall parking lot), and another John (an assistant manager at a Walden Books he frequented).
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It also included Rick. They bumped into each other in the porn section of Circus Books, and after talking for hours at a nearby Coffeshop, a rather embarrassed Rick explained that breaking up with Ken, and trying to be something that he wasn�t had been a huge mistake.� Despite knowing that it was long over between them, they made love one last time that night.
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5.�
While not the sole cause, Ken�s slut phase started as a reaction to catching his boyfriend Joe making out with a man who could have been Ken�s younger brother.� Ken was angry partially because he felt betrayed, but mainly because it felt far too reminiscent of their first night together.�
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Six months earlier bar hopping with friends, Ken noticed two men arguing with each other, and after one stormed off angrily, the other walked up to Ken and asked if he wanted to help him celebrate being single again.� They spent an hour making out, grinding into each other before going back to Joe�s apartment.
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4.
Five months before first meeting Joe, Ken went to an end of summer party and met Leo.� Leo was loud, brash, and not at all subtle in letting Ken know that he was �hot stuff.��
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Slightly drunk, and pretending that he did not miss Rick, Ken left the party with Leo despite not really finding him that interesting or attractive.� Leo didn�t like kissing, or giving blowjobs, so they gave each other hand jobs in Leo�s cramped car.� Ken was glad when they did not say anything about hooking up again after they were done.
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3.
Two months before Leo, Rick broke up with Ken, telling him that he couldn�t do it anymore.� He wanted to be normal.� He wanted to stop feeling guilty for liking Ken. He wanted to stop being gay.
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They met ten months earlier in a History class, where instead of paying attention to the lecture, they spent most of their time trying not to be to obvious about staring at each other.� After weeks of looking and pretending not to be looking, they finally said hello to each other.� Hello turned to conversation, to visiting Rick�s dorm room, which because his roommate was spending the night at his girlfriend�s apartment, turned into furtive kissing, which turned into more, and more, and a third time more early the next morning.�
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2.�
Two months before meeting Rick, Ken spent an afternoon hanging out at Venice Beach.� He walked among the crowds people watching and looking at body builders when he noticed that an older man wearing tight corduroy shorts and a yellow tank top was looking at him as well.� The man walked up and said hello, and deciding to be bold Ken later followed him into back of a van parked in an alley behind a record store.
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Ken lied to the man, and in return, was lied to as well.� He told the man that the he was 19 (he was a month shy of turning 18), and that he was experienced (he considered himself a virgin).� The man told Ken that his name was Greg (it was really Jerry), that he was 28 (he was 31), that Ken was the most attractive guy he had ever seen (the most attractive man Jerry had ever seen was his wife�s younger brother Fred), and that Ken had a large dick (it was only average).� A half hour later Ken hoped out of the van feeling somewhat guilty about having sex with a man he had just met, but also feeling very happy that he had finally had real sex, and that it was good.
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1.
Three years earlier Ken shared a tent with his 16-year-old cousin Tommy during a summer camping trip to Big Bear.� It was so hot that they slept only in their underwear.� One night their roughhousing took a turn neither anticipated and bodies were explored and probed.� Even though Ken wanted to, they did never spoke about what happened that night and they never did it again.
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