Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.

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I dreamed that I was a sex boi toy for bi-curious straight men. Despite the porno sounding premise, being a hustler was actually a terrible job. Instead of hunky porn star worthy men, my clients were all mediocre looking, sexually confused (and inept), middle aged men who invariably still lived in their parents house. Think the worst comic book nerd stereotype and you will understand why I hated my work.

I had lost count of how many times a sexually frustrating session was accidentally interrupted by the �john�s� mother walking into his bedroom to ask him what he wanted for dinner, or to remind him do a chore such as taking out the garbage. Instead of shock at catching their son with another man, every single one reacted with a mix of disdain and boredom, and they all said a variant of the �now that you finally have that out of your system, can you FINALLY settle down with a girl and give me grandchildren� speech.

Even worse than the interruptions, poor hygiene, and even poorer sex, was the fact that I made less than minimum wage on the assumption that I would make up for the difference in tips...and let me tell you, confused momma�s boys are terrible tippers.

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� 2000-2007