Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.

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From reading previous entries, I think that it�s fairly obvious that I work for the government as a very low level supervisor. I haven�t stated explicitly what my profession is for a few reasons.

First, I tend to find work stories boring. Explaining how it took me over two hours to review the daily IDARS because I had to explain the difference between a PHP, PHL and a PHF to a constituent who only spoke spanish does not exactly make for fun reading. If I can�t even interest myself, I rather doubt that it would interest anyone else.

Second, there is actually a question of legality. I am supposed to contact upper management, clear details and receive approvals before dealing with the media in regards to work. In my mind at least, posting this journal straddles the definition of media and I have no desire to involve my bosses in clearing details for posting in my journal.

Third, my work is normally boring and work stories are tedious and dull. Oh wait, that was my first reason.

Anyway, all this is supposed to explain why I have only mentioned my work in general terms. The specific details of work stories that I share do not matter as much as the general experiences (talking to your superior/subordinate, never ending paperwork, etc..) that everyone can identify with are. Hopefully I won�t bore anyone too silly.

Now after all that, here is a handy Nico guide to dealing with Government agencies:

1. Phoning up a government office, then yelling and screaming won�t get you your way, especially if don�t bother to tell anyone what it is you want.

2. Neither will insulting everyone who tries to help you.

3. If calling someone stupid won�t help, trust me, calling them b*tches, f*ggts, and worse will help even less.

4. Not giving your name, phone number or for that matter, refusing to say what it is you want, will not get you what you want.

5. Hanging up and calling back repeatedly using different names each time for an hour will not fool anyone into giving you what you want, mainly since no one has any idea what it is you want.

6. Calling back as yourself, then throwing temper tantrums over the phone and threatening lawsuits because you aren�t getting your way, will not get you your way. Especially if you still haven�t told anyone what it is you want.

7. Storming into the office and then throwing the exact same tantrum in person also won�t get you what you want. It will however, get security called.

8. Finally stating exactly what it is that you want after three and half hours of yelling and screaming and threats and tantrums, is not an efficient use of time.

9. And finally, refusing to provide a photocopy of a single one page court document so that said government office can accommodate you and provide you with what you want, will definitely not get get you what your after.

Get the feeling that I've had a very trying day? If anyone wishes to try and guess what my job is from all that, go ahead. First person to guess might get a prize. maybe. probably not what you want though.

more later, nico

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