Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.

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Hip transsexual bars in suburbia that serve frozen peas

aka The one where nico says bit over and over again.

No intro, just entry:

Friday (04/06/01):

John and I saw Looking for Normal at the Geffin theater that night. Beau Bridges comes out to his wife Laurie Metcaf as a transsexual. The play then follows the events, drama and trauma that result from this confession. Both Laurie Metcaf and the actor who played her daughter and whose name I'm drawing a blank on were really good.

The play itself seemed to be designed to get the audience thinking about the nature of identity and love. Do you love someone for their physical body? For their spirit? For both? It wasn't too heavy handed, so I didn't mind the attempt at forcing me to think.

My only real problem was my usual one. I ended up seated next to a bored husband who couldn't seem to grasp the simplest of plot points. He kept on whispering to his wife asking her to explain what was going on throughout the play. I have really bad play karma or something.

Susan and Russ were there as well that night. Her husband Ron, being the good guy that he is, stayed home to look after the kid. Surprisingly, John and I didn't decline when they suggested checking out the bar at the W after the play. I was fairly tired by then, but luckily we didn't stay too long. Just long enough to get some pricey cocktails and look around a little. Well, they got the drinks, I just did the standing around bit.

The place is supposed to very trendy and hip, although, if I was there, how hip could it really be? It was an interesting people watching experience though. I looked at it as an opportunity to study the mating rituals of Homo Sapiens "straight."

There were packs of mid-twenty-something, clothes hound males prowling the joint with beers in hand checking out women. There were also some older males (later thirties to mid forties) in smaller groups subtly and not so subtly checking out the same women. The young twenty-something women were largely just ignoring the men and seemed far more interested in playing who has the smallest cell phone or cutest outfit.

I couldn't really blame them, most of the men there that night weren't that thrilling to look at. A few were handsome, but in a very bland generic I am perfect and have no flaws sort of way. Actually, the most attractive person there was an African American waitperson. She had very striking features and moved with a lot of confidence and energy. If I were straight (a HUGE if), I would have found her much more interesting than the "she is so thin as to be scary" anorexic looking white woman that seemed to be quite popular with most of the lads there that night.

The music was fairly loud and rather "last summer gay dance club" as well. That wouldn't have been bad, except it was wasn't a very good gay dance club. When Cher is the aural highlight of the night, something is a bit off. Uh, no disrespect to any Cher fans out there.

The place actually wasn't that bad, if you are straight and hip and trendy and have the clothes and the mullah and the attitude. I'm not and I don't.

Saturday (04/07/01):

The wispy wimpy rain I wrote about the last entry turned into an actual storm around Three a.m. saturday morning. Thunder is my official reason for not sleeping very well. Always have to have an excuse for not sleeping well.

We drove all the way out to Thousand Oaks to Anna and Bruce's place that afternoon. The excuse for the monsters (John's college friends) to get together this time was that Carlos and Beth were Visiting. They've been living in Japan for past couple of years for his job and considering they have a new son that none of us have seen yet, it was worth the hour plus drive. There was the usual reminiscing and catching up involved whenever old friends get together, except that there were more munchkins running around underfoot this year. This is where I would insert a breeder joke if I did that sort of thing.

Dinner that night was a really good vegetarian pasta Bolognese that Anna made. I love her cooking. The kids got pasta as well, but with a plainer tomato sauce instead. They also got frozen peas to munch on . Not being a dad, I never knew that kids ate 'em like that. At least these kids do.

The funniest bit of the evening involved Anna and Bruce's kids. Dessert that night was candy and cookies straight from the bag. I was seated at the kitchen table helping myself to some of the goodies when young Mr. Cam, the two year old son, climbed up my leg to get some of the sweets. I sat him down on my lap before he managed to use me as stepladder get up onto the table. I gave him some bits of the cookies but he wasn't too thrilled with them. Addy, the four year old daughter, told me that he really wanted some of the chocolate and that the chocolate was the best thing on the table. I agreed with her and admitted that I had probably eaten too many of the chocolates already.

I was giving Cam a piece of the chocolate a few minutes later, when I heard Addy telling John in a perfect stage whisper that she thought Uncle Nico was eating too many candies. John thanked her very earnestly and looking straight at me wondered out loud if Uncle Nico would continue to eat too much. All the adults within earshot of this exchange were busting up with laughter, but Uncle Nico just kept on eating.

The second funniest bit of the evening also involved Addy. She asked John and me to play go fish with her. The cards were these cute little kiddie things with anthropomorphic sharks and tunas on them. At first we were playing not to win, but that turned out to be unnecessary. Addy is a card shark disguised as a cute little girl. So besides ratting me out, she also trounced both John and myself at cards. All this from a four year old who according to her parents adore her Uncles' John and Nico.

The third funniest bit that evening involved some of Carlos' and Beth's living in Japan stories. Apparently in Japan married couples must by law have the same surname. Beth and Carlos don't. This has caused all manner of fun and hilarity when dealing with officials who routinely misfile her records because they obviously aren't a married couple.

Sunday (04/08/01):

John decided to do some maintenance on the fish tanks, which lead to a mini spring cleaning of the house, which lead to the unfortunately traditional John and Nico cleaning the house fight. The details of which aren't important. The dumb thing didn't last for too long, but it was still a mightily annoying argument. I hate it when we argue, but as I already wrote, it was short if not sweet.

Anyhow, on that sour note, more later,

nico

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