newest entry
contact
quien es nico?
a links page
Antes:
2005
2004
2003
2002
2001
2000
I also do stuff over at livejournal:
the insufficient blog
otro lugares:
absorbacon
abstractnixon
aiyah
amateur gourmet
amazing adventures of bill
appetites
archerr
bill and kent
blockade boy
center of gravitas
cheap blue guitar
chocolate and zucchini
comics 212
designer blog
dogpoet
edwin
how to learn swedish
hungry tiger
i make things
i was just really very hungry
insequence
island of misfit toys
lady, that's my skull
mysterysteps
news from me
old grey poet
once upon a tart
postmodernbarney
precocious curmudgeon
pretty, fizzy, paradise
roar of comics
something old, nothing new
stop touching my food
strange maps
super underwear perverts
there are some who call me tim
tinman
tmb
ultrasparky
diaryland
diaryland profile
ringsurf gay diary
previous next random list join
Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.
monday 03/08/2004
Five marriages officially approved by both the state of California and the federal government
Thomas and Karen:
Thomas is a stocky conservative republican white man in his early forties who has an unnatural fondness for the sockless pennyloafer look of his youth. Karen is a liberal democrat white woman who is an ubermom who can do almost anything. The first time I met them ten or so years ago, it seemed odd to me that they were married. From the few people I have asked on the sly, I think that all the gay people they have met have thought the same thing.
Thomas looks like the prototypical log cabin republican gay man, while Karen looks like the perfect no-nonsense practical to a fault dyke mom. Thing is, they aren't queer, they just look it. Despite being a happily married het couple, they are the gayest looking couple I know.
They moved out of state a few years ago, so it's been a while since I've seen them. Last I heard, Thomas is now a stay at home dad, which seems like such an nonrepublican thing for him to do.
George and May:
George and May have been friends since college. When they graduated, they moved in together and became roommates. For a couple of years, every time their college friends would get together, George would constantly talk about his best friend Gary. It was always Gary said this, or Gary and I did that. The two of them did everything together, yet no one had ever met Gary. The friends decided that George and Gary were in fact boyfriends and waited for George to come out of the closet.
He didn't. Instead, he stopped talking about Gary and started dating May. After two years they got married. Gary was at the wedding. He was not acting very happy, and he was obviously gay. The best man Tom, an old friend of George, was also definitely gay, and was also not the happiest of people that night. The college friends wanted to ask Gary and Tom certain questions, but didn't. Instead, we watched a drunk Gary and Tom head off to the hotel to be unhappy together.
Six years later, George and May have kids, the requisite boy and girl. Both the survival of the marriage and the existence of kids have surprised their friends, who are still quietly waiting for George to come out of the closet.
Julio and Janice:
Anna and Julio dated for four years. They were that obnoxious perfect couple that people can't stand and secretly hope to be. Everyone assumed a marriage proposal was guaranteed. It wasn't. Julio started acting odd and broke up with Anna, no explanation, or at least no explanation that either has felt making public.
Soon after the break up, Julio started dating Janise, a relatively famous woman in certain sports circles. Most of Julio�s and Anna�s friends thought this was kind of strange, because common consensus was that Janice was a lesbian. Some of us thought ok, maybe we were wrong, maybe she was bisexual or possibly even straight, but then loads of exgirfriends started popping up out of the woodwork and things got contradictory and even more confusing.
That was a few years ago. Anna is still single, but luckily she finally seems to be over Julio. Julio and Janice are now married. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe not. I have no idea. After breaking up with Janice, Julio also pretty much dumped all of his old friends, so none of us know how he is doing.
Mary and Mark:
Mary and Mark are perhaps not the most likeliest of couples. Mary is a bit flakey and is a slave to the latest trends and fashions. Mark couldn't give a flying leap about being trendy and thinks fashion is just a fancy word for expensive. They have they kind of relationship were she goes out to a show with one of her gay boyfriends and he stays home baby-sitting their young son while watching "the game." Alternatively, she stays home and baby-sits while he goes out with his buddies to see "the game" live.
They seem to have struck a balance of togetherness and independence which works just fine for them.
Some of her friends have criticized Mary as not being serious enough about the relationship. Personally, I think that in her way, she is very serious about her marriage. After all, unlike every other man she had ever dated, Mary has never told any of her friends long winded stories about his size and talent.
Jan & Tony:
Jan and Tony have been married for over ten years now. They are an extremely attractive couple who have two very successful careers, a lifestyle afforded by the money from these jobs, two elementary school aged daughters, and the prototypical suburban house with the white picket fence.
Tony�s first affair occurred during Jan�s pregnancy with their first daughter. He was even with his mistress during her birth. Jan didn�t particularly mind, going so far as to say that she was glad he was out the way and out of her hair during the delivery. Officially this never happened, although Jan made so many jokes about it to so many people, that everyone knows about it. The jokes usually ended with the more serious statement that the affair was over and that Tony�s philandering days were over.
It been nearly two years since I have spoken with Jan, but from that conversation she implied that Tony never did stop his �extracurricular activities,� but that they had changed, in that there was no longer a single other woman, but now just somewhat more than occasional random encounters with other women. This apparently didn�t bother her too much, although again, she only implied about his continuing infidelities, so I may be off in interpreting her feelings.
What she did state was fact, was that she had started an affair with a coworker, and that while she knew they had to end it soon, she was enjoying every minute they had together, because it was the best sex she�s ever had. She laughed that jokes about good looking men being poor lovers were true, or at least true in Tony's case. According to his wife, in many respects Tony has gotten by in life solely on his looks, not talent.
Tony didn�t know about her affair, and she was not going to tell him, because he�d just get angry. She was planning to end her fling, not because of Tony, but because it didn�t seem proper to her for a mother of two girls to be behaving so.
A mutual friend of ours, who knew about the situation, and knew that I knew, suggested to me that this was all going on partially because of race. Being Mexican and Chinese, they were both raised with the expectation that Tony would have women on the side and that Jan would put up with it. My only response was that despite their ethnicity, Jan and Tony are two of the whitest people I have ever known.
more later,
nico
<<San Francisco on my mind::::sometimes I trip on how happy we could be >>