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Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.
Wednesday 07/30/2003
liar
I treat this journal as a joke. The biggest joke being the idea of me in a long-term relationship. Ugh, being saddled with just one man? Girlfriend can you say dull? That is just so not my style. I am into fun, and why would I settle for just one John in my life when this month alone I have had four? Add on the three Juans, two Richards, and not forgetting Terry, Gregory, Thomas, Max, Eric, Marshal, Gary, Mark, Sam, Henri, David, Alvin, Mikey, Paul, Augustine, Dannie, Rhay, Tony, Luke, Jhim, Hector, Hugo, Dino, Max, Perfecto, Donald, Larry, and the two scams I didn�t bother to find out the names of onto my monthly total and it becomes self evident that I am very successful at being single. I can say without any hint of exaggeration or pride that I am a lothario of men, a hot commodity, a major stud; I am in fact, gay sex incarnate.
Gaydar.com banned me from their site because the constant barrage of hits to my former profile overwhelmed their computers and caused the site to crash. The lack of online hook up opportunities doesn�t bother me because where I truly shine is in the real world.
When I enter a club, it is an event. All eyes turn towards me, and there is an immediate change in the atmosphere as the patrons and staff size each other up to decide which of them will be lucky enough to get to spend time with me. The silly boys never realize that their opinions don�t matter because even on a good night, there are usually only one or two men in the place good looking enough to be seen with me.
But even ugly men and losers have a function to fulfill. After all, I have never paid for a drink in my entire life. On an average night, by the time I have taken five steps into an establishment, I�ve already been swamped with offers of drinks, phone numbers, marriage and wealth.
With the most expensive drink possible in hand, I make my round of the place and let everyone get a good look at me. Even if most of the guys there are too ugly for me to bother with, I don�t mind giving them a visual for them to fantasize about when they masturbate. I consider it a public service.
By the time I have finished my walk through, I have already picked out the only man in the place worth bothering with. Sometimes handsome men are arrogant, so it will take a while before they accept that not only am I better looking than they are, but that I am doing them a favor by agreeing to have sex with them.
When they realize the truth that they are the subordinate, we will leave the bar and head back to my place for some fun. The better looking the guy the longer the night will last. But no matter how long it lasts, it always starts off the same. I lie back in bed and they get the chance to worship my body. Sometimes I�ll even look down at them as they work away. After all, even workers deserve a little pleasure.
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