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Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.
Friday 08/01/2003
Liar
I have such a hangover, every part of my body aches, even typing hurts. This was such a great weekend. I�ve never had such a fun time in Palm Springs before!
My best girlfriend Trey decided that if James and I were going to �ape those heterosexuals� (his words!) and go through with getting married next week, then he needed to take me out for a bachelor party. Unlike foolish straight boys, we planned it so that I would have several days to recover before the ceremony. No green faced groom ready to puke out his guts in the middle of the wedding for me. LOL!!!
We hit so many clubs and I got to dance and flirt with so many cute boys! Trey even arranged a private strip show for me back in my hotel room with a Brazilian exotic dancer named Hector. I didn�t even know there were any Brazilians named Hector, but he told me his name was Greek. Who knew!
Hector had a great body, and girl did he have moves! He started out in a sailor suit and end up in his birthday suit! LOL!!! It was a private party after all!
When he found out I was getting married to my boyfriend of TWO years (such a long time!), he asked if he could come to the wedding, when I told him no, he asked if he could at least give me a good luck kiss. One thing lead to another and well, JUST KIDDING James!
I was a good boy, and we really did stop with just a kiss and a grope or two, or three, or four. Hehe. Don�t worry honey; I didn�t break any of our rules.
It�s going to be at least another couple of hours before I even think about going over to Trey�s room to see if he is up yet. Last time I saw him, he, Hector, and Hector�s really cute Black boyfriend slash manager slash pimp (LOL!!!) were all going into Trey�s room. I�m sure Trey is going to have plenty to tell me on our drive back into L.A. later this afternoon, if I can ever convince him to leave his room that is. LOL!!
I�m glad that Trey convinced me to take a break, this is going to be such a busy week! James and I still have so much to do, and the last time I checked the caterers still hadn�t confirmed if they were going to be able to buy enough roses for all the place settings for the reception. I don�t know why that is turning out to be such a hassle. What I want is so simple! Each of the place settings at the wedding reception is going to have a single perfect dusty pink (not girlie pink!) baby rose tied to the napkin with a burnished white silk cord. I truly do not understand what is so difficult about buying 300 roses. It is not that hard. James if you read this before I get home tonight, call me on my cell and let me know what they said. I want those damn roses and if they can�t do it, we need to make other arrangements.
James is so sweet; he keeps telling me that everything is going to be perfect. I just want to make sure it will be. He is right though, the wedding will be a thing to remember. We have the best spot reserved for the ceremony and reception, and it�s even on the Westside so we won�t have too far to drive unlike when Alexander and George had their fifth anniversary party at that restaurant in Downtown. The food was good, but seriously, Downtown? Unless you have the misfortune to work there, or are seeing a musical who would want to drive all the way over there?
We have great caterers, if they ever get their act together about the place settings that is (GRRR!!), and a great band (all gay men!). We have our favorite bakery creating seven different huge wedding cakes, each one covered in different icing made from seven different imported French chocolates. We even made arrangements for the waitstaff to be all body builders slash actors slash waiters, not too hard in this town! It�s going to be such a great party!
The best part will be the honeymoon. We�re going to do a sappy Hawaiian tour for a few days, and then we�ll head down to New Zealand for two weeks for skiing and site seeing. It�s been forever since I have been to New Zealand.
All I have to do to get to that ski trip is survive the next week. That means surviving the caterers, a final fitting for my custom Dolce & Gabbana suit (Custom made!), the rehearsal dinner at Epiphany Bistro, and having my sister coming into town with her husband. UGH! Why in the world did she have to marry him? Sure he�s not bad looking for his age, but he is so conservative (not in the good tax break way, but in the bad homosexuals are sinners way). I hope he figures out an excuse to not come to his deviant brother-in-law�s homosexual wedding and stay home in D.C. That way the big sis and I can enjoy our time together checking out cute guys.
Even if the stick in the mud does come along, I am not going to let him ruin my fun. It is going to be a great day!
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