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Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.
Sabado 08/02/2003
Liar
I have decided to become a nudist. It will be a positive growth experience to finally be free of the tyrannical demands of modesty imposed on us all by an uncaring, cruel and harsh society. While the law of man may demand that I impose clothing on myself whenever I leave my house, as soon as I get home each day, it all will come off as soon as possible and I will be free from the shackles of clothing and live glorious and pure as nature and god intended.
In fact, merely removing my clothing is not enough. I will not compromise on my dedication to the concept of freedom through nudity. I am going to remove the curtains from all the windows in my apartment. Not only that, but I will not put on a towel or otherwise cover up whenever I happen to walk by a window. I will not smother my body for naught. If someone walking by decides to look in and is offended by the sight of a 276 pound, five-foot one man in all his natural nude glory, then they can just turn away!
How dare people try to impose on my freedoms! How they try to limit me!
In fact, living free in the confines of my home is not enough. I'm going to share my body for all to see. I'm going to put web cams in every room. Yes, even in the bathroom! I will not be restrained. All my life will be available for all to see. Yes, even my bathroom activities!
Why should the world not be witness to a man sitting on his toilet smoking a joint in the privacy of his own bathroom? Why should the world not look at me trimming my toenails while watching TV? Why should the world not see that I've turned my bed into a shrine dedicated to Anna Nicole Smith, the most beautiful woman in the world!
It's my guaranteed freedom, it's guaranteed to be interesting, and people are bound to want to see me!
Who would not want to see the wonders of a real man living a real life!
Even women would want to see me, and maybe one of them would want to go out on a date with me. My mother keeps telling me I'm handsome, and I know someone else will think so to.
The only problem is that all the web stuff is going to cost a lot of money, and I don't make a lot. My boss doesn't like me very much, and I don't think he's going to give any more hours. Besides, even if he did, that's kind of defeating the point since I would be at work and not at home naked.
Aww heck! I might as well not bother with any of it and just keep my clothes on. Oh well, it was a good idea while it lasted.
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