Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.

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"Too bad you weren't old enough to have been there, it was a great time."

aka: nostalgia, a play, a show, nonflying planes and a DVD.

There are American flags everywhere. Buildings, cars and people are all plastered in red, white and blue. It has been very patriotic and yet, it hasn't.

The reactionary and aggressive nature of this new found patriotism has me concerned. There have been more stories of people of Middle Eastern decent being yelled at and assaulted. There have been more stories of vandalism.

It is not surprising that as a nation, we are thinking of the world as US vs. Them.

The question remains, just who are they?

American citizens who are of Arab decent?

Anyone who is not white?

I'm concerned about what is coming. But...

Anyway, enough of this. Here is the entry proper:

Wednesday 09/12/01:

After a looong day at work spent listening to news reports on the radio, the prospect of going home to do more of the same, only with a television this time, seemed unappealing. Instead, I went to the monthly Catalyst (a local GLBT group) potluck dinner.

I wasn't the only person feeling that way apparently, there were more people attending than I had expected. My paltry contribution to the evenings meal was a bag of taro chips I purchased at a Trader Joe's on the drive over to Pasadena.

Conversations that night included the expected rehashing of the previous days events and oddly, a strange nostalgia kick. Although in hindsight, a desire for "simpler times" may not be so strange.

That part of the the conversation covered the "great" restaurants,bars, clubs and bathhouses that existed in and around Los Angeles in the 70's and very early 80's. It's probably not surprising that the forty something men dominated that particular subject. The rest of us just sat around nodding. Well, I sat nodding. The women looked bemused and one younger guy appeared genuinely interested.

Apparently I missed "a great party." Maybe, maybe not. Never having been a pretty, young, white, twinkie boy, or a mustachioed, stud clone, I doubt I would have been that welcome in some of the exclusive "beautiful people only" establishments they were talking about. Not that I would be overly welcome in some of the similar establishments and institutions that exist now.

I am of course, suitably devastated ;-)

Thursday 09/13/01:

Near the end of the work day, I was speaking with a constituent on the phone. It had been an overly long and unpleasant conversation.

After explaining for a fourth time that what he wanted me to do was illegal and that the department could not accommodate his request, the guy started yelling at me. He told me that I should have been one of those fools who died in New York. It was all I deserved. He was barking something about deporting all you foreigners out of here when I hung up.

Considering the people I deal with at work, I wonder at times just how it is that I have any faith people's goodwill at all.

Friday 09/14/01:

John and I went out that night and saw The Unexpected Man with Christopher Lloyd and Holland Taylor at the Geffin Playhouse.

The drive over to the west side was a little odd. We could see two planes in the air, both appeared to be headed to LAX. I knew that the airport had been reopened, but I found it unnerving that my initial gut reaction to the planes was a moment of fear.

Um, anyway, the play. It was interesting. Two people share a train compartment and spend the majority of the play lost in thought, not talking to each other. Could have been tedious, just listening to the two actors reciting monologues, but it wasn't.

Although, like the first time that I watched Wings of Desire, my first thought was "Do people really think like that?"

That is, are people really so intellectual and profound in their internal monologues and If so, what the heck is wrong with me?

Actually, not all of the monologues were intellectual and the characters cover a lot of ground from loneliness, to lust, to the failure of family and friends. It was interesting and I really enjoyed Ms. Taylor. Christopher Lloyd was just as good an actor, but I don't think I enjoyed him as much, possibly because his character was somewhat arrogant and annoying.

AND YES, there were annoying people in the audience as well. This time it was the fortyish, married couple seated directly behind John and me. They seemed to have no idea of how to whisper. Luckily, they didn't talk through the entire thing, just the beginning when they were confused by what was happening and the end when they were even more confused.

For the record, there is absolutely nothing confusing about the end of the play. For me at least. Maybe my thoughts are more intellectual and profound than I thought '-)

Saturday 09/15/01:

Instead of an actual festival, Pasadena Pride transmuted into a queer picnic in Memorial Park this year. I should have went, but I didn't. No real reason why, other that I was feeling somewhat overwhelmed by everything and that I was in an "Bleagh" type mood.

That mood didn't save me from being dragged to the Fry's in Burbank by John, where he proceeded to not find any of the things he wanted to purchase.

On the drive over, we passed the Burbank airport, which appeared to still be closed. It was erie, planes just lined up, sitting there silently.

My mood had burned itself out by that night, which was good since we had plans to see our friend Jennifer perform at a borders in Long Beach. It wasn't the entire band, just her and a drummer doing a somewhat quiet set. Well, quiet for Jen, but heck, it was just a little bookstore, so loud and energetic may not have been overly appropriate. Her new album will be finished soon and I will probably plug it or whatever when it becomes available.

So, Jen sang and we hung out with Barb, Cass and Lois. I've never mentioned Lois here before. She and her wife had an amazingly great restaurant. They eventually got out of the business because it had eaten up every single second of their lives. Well, that and the great buy out offer they got from another restauranteur. Almost no one has seen 'em in the past couple of years, but now that they actually have free lives again, that should change.

Now I only have to convince them to make their famed chocolate bread pudding for all of their friends on a continual basis and I'll be set. I'll be incredibly fat, but I'll be deliriously happy as well.

Sunday 09/16/01:

Kristen drove up and we had lunch at the curry house in Little Tokyo. After talk and food, we hit a couple of the local bookstores, then made it back to my place so she could show me some selected episodes of Cowboy Bebop featuring the teenage, computer hacking, tomboy (future drag king?) Radical Edward. I like Ed. She's funny as all get out. Kristen lent me some more episodes of the series to watch and I will. I will also write about them at some point as well no doubt.

Which reminds me, I have borrowed a bunch of dvd's and videos from from Kristen over the past month, so at some point I will be posting an all anime entry. Good news for a couple of you, bad for the rest.

It's not happening anytime soon though. Before I get around to that, I have to finish the last few days of the Japan vacation entries, then I should finish redoing the links page, as well as several other upgrades I have in mind for this site.

Of course, before I do any of that, I really should deal with several projects I have hold in my "real life."

Anyhow, enough of this.

More later

nico

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