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Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.
Mon 11/19/2001
NonS&M, nonLeather, nonBondage, nonDrag Queens eat Pad Thai
or, yet another entry with a vaguely suggestive title
The highlight of my week was having one of the sisters (of perpetual indulgence) bless my vocal cords. I doubt that it�ll help, but it couldn't hurt. Anyhow, in only a vague sense of chronological order, here�s the past week:
I�ve been in a vague mood. Vague, because I�m feeling less than complete, less than whole. I feel lacking, but I�m not sure what it is exactly that I am missing. Sleep probably.
I haven�t had a full night�s sleep for a couple of weeks now and It�s starting to get to me. I�ve been tuckered out and I am in a melancholy mood. Oddly, I have not been cranky, which is what usually happens by this point when I lack in the snooze department. Which is good luck for John I guess.
I went to a dinner party Wednesday night (11/14/01) without John. He didn�t feel like going since it was a �school night.� Reasonable enough.
Conversations that night were, well, interesting to say the least. Topics included:
Almost getting get kicked out of a sex club for passing out condoms. (oddly, not back in the first days of aids, but just last summer)
Assorted gossip about assorted local GLBT organizations. (did NOT make me miss my old activist days)
Just how unfortunate it was that one of the women there that night was usually the only woman, or rather the only lesbian, at the better leather clubs/events around town. (um, did that sentence make any sense?)
A reminder that giving up control in bondage situations does not equal giving up power. (a little out of my experience, but makes sense I guess)
How the Folsom street fair was VERY fun this year. (I�ve never been)
How Fred, one of the guys there that night, was flagging gray at Folsom. On the right. (I had only a vague idea what that meant. He is a something bottom?)
How flags, ie: the old handkerchief code, was making a comeback. (news to me)
Hassles with buying cars. (finally, something I had some experience with)
Hassles with buying make up. (and right back to things I have no knowledge of)
Despite the various and sundry topics, it was not a Leather, S&M, Bondage, Drag Queen party. We were just talking as if it was. That was a very strange sentence, but then again, it was a strange night.
The conversation that night served as a reminder that we are a multifaceted community. Or maybe it just proves that I have a fairly �vanilla� love life and that I am not as exposed to the leather/ B&D subculture as I could be. (should be?)
Falling into the sharing a bit too much category; I find the idea of leather interesting, but I suspect that the reality wouldn�t be that great for me. I think that it may be a little too serious for my tastes. I tend to think of sex as making love. I tend to think of it as fun. I�ve been known to be silly during foreplay as I..... um, as I do �stuff.� I�ve also been known to laugh. I�m doubting that�s acceptable �back room� behavior.
I talked with Tony Thursday (11/15/01) and he kindly explained to me that a gray handkerchief meant light bondage. No wonder Fred was popular at Folsom.
Heck, he was rather cute. If I were single and �light� meant �very light,� as in something you play at on the way to something else; as opposed to �not light�, as in begins and ends with the fetish, I would have been after him as well.
I saw Punks Friday (11/16/01) night. John declared that he was too tired to go out that night, so it was a solo excursion. The movie was sweet, not deep, challenging, or thoughtful, but that was cool, because I wasn�t in the mood for anything other than a flick.
Despite the advertising, it�s not a drag show movie, it�s more like Broken Hearts Club, the queer boys of color version that is. Now, having stated that it was not a drag movie, my favorite drag outfits were the latex nun�s habits. At times like this, it�s obvious that I was raised catholic, isn�t it.
There was a birthday party Saturday (11/17/01) for the youngest of the nephews. Young �Sarge� is now five. Unfortunately, his gun obsession has turned into an army obsession, hence the fact that he only answers to Sarge now. It also meant that any nonmilitary themed toys/birthday gifts were promptly ignored in favor of tanks and army men.
Johnny and I stayed up that night to watch the meteor shower. We only saw a few, which is not surprising considering that we are in the middle of a huge honking city, but what we did see was cool. It was a pleasant evening, not too cool or warm, as we sat out back, staring up at the sky, watching little bits of debris streak through the upper atmosphere.
The Doo Dah parade was Sunday (11/18/01), but having gone once years ago, I felt no need to attend this year. So no stories of tortilla tossing and Dada-esque parade entries.
Instead of parade, I just went to my local comic shop and bought the latest issue of Castle Waiting and Lucifer.
More later,
nico
Music:
Carlos Ponce Todo lo que Soy
Invitame a devorarlo, a cobijarlo con mis besos�
Want:
Sleep. Failing that, some Dulce de Leche M&Ms.