Stories from a man who fails to meet media expectations of what it means to be gay:
white, frivolous, over sexed yet sexless, shrill, single, stylish, a clown, unimportant, et al.

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Lust Machine

aka: more confessions of an ADULT tv watcher

I could have added a third title to this entry. Something to the effect of "the one that didn't do what I wanted it to do," or possibly "the stupid entry that refused to be even slightly humorous."

Meaning that I decided to write about television again. A sequel of sorts to my confessions of an adult tv watcher entry. Considering that the original entry didn't entirely work right, I should not have been surprised that this one did not either. The joke wears thin rather quickly. Which is why in the first entry there were only five "confessions" and then a bunch of nonrelated stuff.

Maybe the entry doesn't work because I haven't been watching that much tv lately. I've been spending more time online, reading, catching up on house work and just being too busy to be couch potato. I am watching some things though and this is as good a place as any to share some unsolicited opinions.

But how? I had an idea about discussing shows I watch solely for the male eye candy, but it didn't quite pan out as funny/interesting as I had hoped. It has transmuted into something simpler and is now slapped onto the end of the entry.

As for why I am sharing the hows and whys this entry isn't working? Who knows? I'm just a weirdo. Hmm, Nico the weirdo. Now that would make a good entry title, wouldn't it? '-)

Anyway, enough intro, let's get on to the embarrassing confessions:

1. John and I still do not have cable. Not for lack of trying though. A couple of months ago, John called and arranged for us to get digital cable. He made the appointment and we hung around the house waiting for the cable folks to show up. They never did. John called and left several messages asking them to call us. They never did.

What the company did do, was send someone out a several days latter during the work week when no one was home. They then left a vaguely condescending note at the front gate blaming us for missing the appointment and wasting their time.

Needless to say, we were not impressed by their sense of customer service and we still do not have cable. We don't have DSL either, but I'll save that story for another day.

2. I'm enjoying Enterprise. I have stated repeatedly over the past year that I am a geek. What better proof of my geekiness than this?

I have to admit that a large part of my attraction to the show is due to a certain Scott Bacula. There have been mentions all over the place of how "sexy" the show is, from people rubbing medicinal creams over their buff bodies, to certain captains lounging around in their underwear and taking skin revealing showers. If there has to be a sexy incarnation of star trek, who am I to argue?

Libido aside, I do like the program. I like the cranky Vulcan woman. I like the cranky communications officer. I have no doubt that there will be plenty of slash fiction featuring the two of them being cranky with each other. Personally, I'm looking forward to the inevitable slash fiction featuring the captain and the engineering guy. An obvious couple in my mind. I mean, just why are they always having diner together? Hmm?

3. I hate all of the Law and Order programs. It's not the acting or the storylines that aggravate me, rather it's it's the loud "dunt dunt" noise they use to signal a change in scene. That noise drives me up the freaking wall!!!

John's a fan of one of the numerous incarnations of the shows, so I am unable to escape the horror that is the shows' soundtrack.

4. I'm not a fan of will and grace. I don't find it that humorous and other than an occasional line from karen, I rarely laugh.

Not liking a show is not a big deal, or at least it shouldn't be. Because of the entire "gay thing," however, I am expected to be a huge fan of the show. I've had people look at me funny when they find out that I'm not in love with the program.

I guess I'm a traitor to the cause or something. Oh well.

5. I've been watching smallville, but probably not for much longer. I'm quickly loosing interest in the show. Even the presence of a rather good looking Pa Kent isn't quite enough for me anymore. It's not that the show is especially bad, it's just not proving interesting to me. I'm not that big on teen drama.

Although, I have to admit that I have enjoyed the vague, subtle, not really there, but it is sexual tension between young Lex Luthor and young Mr. Kent. Now, having them have a doomed romance would be an interesting twist to the young superman story.

The Lust Machine:

Enterprise:
Scott Bacula of course. Now, if only they would write more nakey shower scenes '-)

California's Gold:
Huell Howser. I'm not the only one with a thing for huell. The majority of the google searches leading people here are huell related. Things like "naked huell howser," or "gay huell howser," or "naked, gay huell howser." Fun.

Smallville:
The twenty something guy playing the teenage clark kent is ok looking, but for me, it's Pa Kent all the way. I wasn't much of a dukes of hazard fan growing up, but now??? yum.

Scrubs:
The skinny, lead, white, actor guy whose name I forget and didn't even realize was the dyed blond guy from Broken Hearts Club is interesting. Not in a splorchy, hip grinding way though. It's more of a neighbor who happens to be kinda, sorta cute in an odd way you can't really define way kind of way. Hmm, if he and the grouchy, mentor doctor hooked up, the show would be perfect.

Andromeda:
I've only half watched a couple of episodes, but the superhuman Tir (right name?) guy in the dreads is majorly attractive.

Buffy:
The actor playing Xander is starting to get interesting looking to me after years of being not entirely that interesting looking.

ER:
The bald white doctor who had the brain tumor story line is muy humpy.

OK, enough of this tawdry entry.

More later

nico

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